What Did You Learn?

What Did You Learn?

Anyone on staff with me who is reading this is rolling their eyes right now. They hear this question almost every week and in just about every new situation. I ask it genuinely, and I ask it often. It's a great way to get a conversation going, and you learn so much when someone answers it.

What did you learn?

Think about the environments you'll walk into today. Maybe it's time with a loved one. Maybe it's a moment at work that will change the trajectory of your role. Maybe it's a place that carries deep meaning and will bring you great joy or real hurt. Every day is full of opportunities for blessing and challenge. It can be as simple as reading your spouse's energy level, hearing about your boss's new project, or starting the personal journey of building a new habit. Every one of those moments has something to teach you…if you're paying attention.

Teachable is good. Hungry is better.

First, you have to decide whether you're teachable. Being teachable means you can learn new concepts and skill sets from people, situations and circumstances. You can be taught.

But a growing person goes beyond being teachable. They actively seek to learn in every situation. That's the person I look for when I'm looking for leaders. I want people who lean into growth and push themselves to learn more, including more about themselves.

You can learn from anyone

I believe you can learn from anyone, as long as your ego and pride are in a healthy place.

When I worked in children's ministry, I was amazed at how many people disregarded kids' opinions because they were "just kids." I loved asking them, "What did you learn?" About the Bible lesson. Their small group leader. The Zone environment. Being at church. What their parents thought. The worship. Everything that made up that hour. Kids don't pull punches…they'll tell you exactly what they think.

Everyone is a source of learning. The favorite everyone loves usually has great insights. But so does the crank, the grump and the challenger. When you ask them what they learned, you give them a chance to share their thoughts and feelings. Lean into that and be grateful. Now you have their perspective and understand where they're coming from. With that, you can figure out how to answer their concern or make a necessary change.

Be a student of those you love and lead

You need to learn and grow in every area of your life and leadership. I believe it's my job to be the greatest student of the people I love and lead.

After more than thirty-eight years of marriage, I'm still learning how to be Kristin's husband. As our seasons of life change, I have to adapt to the needs and expectations of the next one. Same with my kids and grandkids. (Wow, they grow fast.) They all have different personalities, desires and interests, and I keep learning how to communicate with them and understand them so I can be part of their lives on their terms.

My peers and staff deserve the same. I need to know their wiring, gifting and personalities so I can help them use their abilities to the fullest. That's fulfilling for them, and it benefits the organization the most.

The question is for them, too

So the question teaches me. But asking "What did you learn?" is also a gift to the person you're asking.

When you ask it, you stir their heart and their thinking. Rarely will someone blurt out an answer. Most of the time they'll pause and ponder. They'll answer from wherever they are in that moment, and the question helps them put words to everything going on inside.

When you ask genuinely, you can usually expect a sincere answer. Sometimes you won't get one…and that's an insight too. A guarded, off-the-cuff, self-protective or less-than-genuine answer usually means there's more to the story. And you, as a leader, just learned something.

Positive or negative, that's the whole purpose of the question. You're trying to discover what's in them so you can respond well.

What it looks like on a Sunday morning

Here's a simple example. I was visiting one of our GFC locations on a Sunday morning, and the Associate Location Pastor was covering while the Location Pastor was on vacation. I thought the service was excellent. All the elements came together, and the staff and volunteers led their areas with great impact.

I asked him, "What did you learn?"

He smiled and said, "It was good."

I followed up: "Please unpack that for me."

For the next forty-five seconds, he walked through the wins and challenges of the adult service, production, worship and the lobby experience. I agreed with about 90% of what he saw. On the other 10%, we talked through the "why" behind what each of us noticed and how we could practically take steps toward improvement. He pushed back on one of my steps…and we decided his way was better.

In less than a minute, we were ready for the next service with unity, agreement and a clear understanding of what each of us was looking for. That's the power of learning together. You take your differences and turn them into a unified front.

Your turn

So…what did you learn from this post? Better yet, what person or situation are you going to apply it to today? Why wait?

Everyone wants to be known and seen. When you ask someone this question, they feel both, and they feel how much you value them.

You got this! Go get 'em!