Who Gets the Unfiltered Version of You?

The classic television show Cheers opened every episode with a song: "Sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your name." Something in us leans toward that. We want to be known — really known — not just recognized.

So who gets the real, unfiltered version of you?

When the party lights go off, the crowd goes home, and you're driving in silence — who is in that small circle? Who gets the you behind the role?

Here's what happens as you grow in leadership: that circle gets smaller. Tighter. Fewer people. Not because you've pulled back, but because they have. They sense the new mantle on you. They give space for it. What used to be casual and close now carries weight neither of you quite knows what to do with.

You've changed — not as a person, but in position. And position creates distance whether you want it to or not.

That's why you have to work hard to cultivate the relationships where you can be authentically yourself. It starts on the inside. Do the work to know what you believe and why you believe it. If you can't be honest with yourself, you won't be honest with anyone else.

Then find your circle. Jesus had three — and they were a handful. He poured himself into them. At his arrest and crucifixion, one fled, one denied him, and one stayed. They blew it early. And yet they were part of the team that changed the world.

What made the difference? Time. Communication. Presence. For three years, Jesus gave them all three. They knew his words. More importantly, they knew him.

Those who get the unfiltered version of you get your very best — your heart, your thoughts, your words, your actions.

Guard that circle. Feed it. Empowered leaders don't carry the weight alone — they carry it together."