Can I Really Change?
"It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery." (Galatians 5:1, NIV)
This weekend, our church hosted Freedom Encounter, and I have to tell you, it's one of the ministries I love most.
Freedom Encounter is where a ten-week small group journey comes to its finish line, and that journey is all about your personal relationship with Jesus. Along the way, we unpack the things that keep us stuck and keep us from growing in that relationship. It's a foundational course that helps people unearth the "stuff" that gets in the way of living out God's purpose and will for their lives.
The story behind it is close to my heart. My wife, Kristin, has always had a tenacious passion for seeing people walk in their God-given identity. She watched too many people try quick fixes, isolated prayers, and easy steps, only to end up right back in the “prison cell” of being stuck. So she dove in and created a resource built on practical, spiritual foundations, one that invites God’s power, deliverance, and healing. In the end, God put a powerful tool in her hands for our church and for individuals. She finished writing the Freedom Study book, and we built it into the life of our church. If you’re interested, you can learn more on her website: kristinbonham.com/freedomstudy.
Today we run two semesters of groups every year, and each one ends with a two-day Encounter full of worship, speakers, and individual prayer. It is amazing to watch people step into freedom from the things that have held them back, both in their lives and in their walk with God.
Kristin and I are blessed to speak at the Encounter. Each speaker answers a different question about the freedom journey. This time, my question was: "Can I really change?"
I loved preparing that message. It pushed me deep into the Bible and helped me shape some strong principles about change. Here's one I want to challenge you with.
Is it easier to stay stuck or to change?
You're probably thinking, "Of course people want to change." And you're right. Most people who are stuck really do want out. They try again and again. They build a strategy and a plan and give it everything they've got. Many times you get to watch the transformation from stuck to a whole new way of doing life. Other times, staying stuck is usually easier. They know it and sometimes the known is more comfortable than the unknown. These are four reasons freedom can be so hard to walk into.
1. We get comfortable in our "Stuckness."
Believe it or not, it takes more courage to step out of your prison cell than to stay in it. Every change you want to make is tied to a condition, behavior, or mindset you've come to know well. To change, you have to leave the known and familiar for the unknown and unfamiliar. That takes courage, because you give up the comfortable path you've been walking.
There's a reason people often struggle when they leave college or a season of a highly structured lifestyle. Suddenly they face the freedom of making choices every day. Familiar walls can feel safer than open doors. But when we're willing to step away from what's known and comfortable, we'll see great change.
2. We think it will always be this way.
"That's the way we've always done it." "This is just who I am. I can't change." Those sound like facts, but they come from a stuck mindset.
You are not helpless. You get to choose your convictions, your thoughts, your words, and your actions. As a follower of Jesus, I've chosen Him as my Lord and Savior, and every day I choose to yield my life so my convictions, beliefs, and actions line up with His. Nobody can make that choice for me. So own your stuff. Choose what you will live by, every day.
3. We believe the lies of the enemy.
Early in my walk with Christ, I heard a phrase that has stayed with me: "God doesn't make junk." I couldn't agree more.
In Jeremiah 1:5 (NLT), God tells Jeremiah, "I knew you before I formed you in your mother's womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my prophet to the nations." God spoke those words to a young prophet, but the same heart runs all through Scripture. He crafts each of us uniquely, knows us completely, and creates us with purpose (Psalm 139:13–14; Ephesians 2:10).
The Bible also tells us the devil is a tempter, an accuser, and a liar. So there's a battle over your identity: God's truth about who you are on one side, and the enemy's distortions on the other. When we believe the lies, we stay stuck. When we choose the truth of who God says we are, we change the story we believe about our lives.
4. We want to do it on our own.
This is a big hurdle. Since Adam and Eve, there's been a battle over who has ultimate control of our lives. We want to be in charge. We want to prove what we can do. We flex every muscle, gift, and talent to make change happen.
Then we hit the limit of our own ability, and we're stuck again. At that point we have two options. We can accept it and move on, or we can realize there is Someone bigger than us who can bring the change we can't.
That's where surrender comes in. When we truly surrender our inability to change to God, He meets us right where we are. He brings His unlimited power into that area and does the work only He can do. Surrender takes the ceiling off our own abilities and makes room for all of God's power, love, and character to move.
Here's how this fits with point #2: choosing is my part. Changing me is His.
Hurdles, not stop signs
True freedom comes when we stop letting these hurdles turn into stop signs. We invite God to take us places we've never been, in every area of our lives. We walk in humility and confidence as we grow in the places where we've been stuck. We step out of the prison cell boldly, knowing we're not alone on the journey.
That's why Paul tells us to stand firm. Christ has already set you free. Now walk in it.
We don't just say, "We are free." We live it!
