Balance isn’t the Goal - Priority Is
The circus act was called "Rolla Bolla."
It was simple enough — balance a board wide enough to stand on across a cylinder the same width as the board. No guides, no stops on the bottom. Smooth all the way through. I learned this in the circus I performed in during my freshman year of college, juggling while riding it. More advanced performers would add extra items, or contort their bodies into some new impossible shape. The key was never to find perfect balance. It was to find the rhythm — a small, constant sway back and forth. The moment you locked your legs to hold still, you were on your way to sliding off, or flying off entirely. (I did both more times than I can count.)
Work/life balance sounds so good. It sounds like everything gets weighted correctly, so you accomplish your work and enjoy your life at the same time. Every area gets equal time, every day. It isn't sustainable, and it doesn't work — not for long. Life is always moving, pulled by forces inside us, outside our control, and the curveballs neither one saw coming. Balance treats every plate you're spinning as equally important. Priority tells you which one you can't afford to drop.
A leader looks beneath the surface of everything pulling at them and finds the roots. Personal responsibilities — self, family, convictions, values. Work responsibilities — brand, culture, decisions, tasks. Spiritual growth — daily time with God, loving and serving others. Then a leader puts all of it into a prioritized order — daily, weekly, monthly, sometimes stretching out to a quarter or a year. And a leader keeps adjusting that order, and keeps communicating it to whoever needs to know.
The tension of "right now" never goes away.
Jesus gives us a picture of priority over balance in Mark 1:33–37. The whole city gathered at the door. He healed the sick. He cast out demons. He demonstrated real authority, and people noticed — they searched for him, they found him, and when they did, they told him plainly: "Everyone is looking for you." A whole city wanted more of him, on their timeline.
Sound familiar?
If Jesus didn't meet every demand equally, or on someone else's schedule, why should you? He moved from priority, not guilt, and not people-pleasing. One of the price tags of leadership is that you won't make everyone happy. You won't get everyone excited about your decision. You won't make every meeting or every function. But you will maximize your presence — if you prioritize it.
So what do you actually need, to show up as your best in this moment? Here's the simple, practical triage I use, built on my own values and convictions:
Me, first. I'm the only one who can bring me to the table. My priority order is God, body, mind. I look at what I need today, and I do it, so I can bring my best self to whatever I'm about to face.
Family. Kristin, my kids, my grandkids. If there's a function with one of them, I'm there. I don't always get this right — the role of a pastor runs 24/7, and there are times you miss things. But I've found you can miss an event for the church and still find the time to be present with your family.
The church and relationships. These two run neck and neck. It's Christ's church — I'm not the owner, I'm a steward. Other people are accountable for their own walk, but I get to help them take a step toward Jesus. Every day, I triage the task in front of me against the person in front of me, and decide where my time, attention, and effort needs to go. It isn't personal. It's ministry, happening in real time.
Priority isn't about doing less. It's about knowing what you can let go of, what needs to pause, and what needs to come off the list completely.
Balance, in the end, looks a lot like the Rolla Bolla. It's constant, small movement — leaning toward the right thing at the right time, then flowing back to the next thing in its own timing. The more you build this muscle of priority, the more you can carry at once. The tension underneath it all isn't a flaw to fix. It's the intentional, controlled movement of your strengths, your attitude, and your expectations, working together.
You've been running hard and spinning plates. It's time to quit the circus act of work/life balance.
"If you had to drop one plate today to protect what matters most, which one would it be — and what's stopped you so far?"
