"I am afraid to fail."
I said those words in one of the most vulnerable moments of my leadership life. I was raw. I was discouraged. And I was exhausted.
I've served as an executive at our church for a long time, and I've been named Executive Pastor three different times. This story comes from the first. Back then, the Executive Pastor role was brand new to churches, and I was the first one at GFC to hold it.
I dove in with excitement and gusto. Six weeks later, I was drained. I was learning a role that was new to me and new to our organization at the same time. The staff was watching to see how I'd do. Honestly, I didn't give them much to cheer about. I was pouring more hours into "everything GFC" than ever, and the results were anything but spectacular.
God had placed a wonderful lady in our church who was an executive consultant. She traveled the country working with leaders. One day she called and said, "I'd like to meet with you and tell you what you're feeling right now."
I prepared for that meeting like a soldier. I was ready to do verbal battle and defend my heart and my actions.
She walked in, and before she even sat down, she said, "Let me tell you how you feel. You feel like you're working harder than you ever have. You feel like every thought, word and action is under a microscope for everyone to see, judge and criticize. You feel like you're walking in cement shoes. You're working harder than ever and seeing less progress. You're tired and worn out. And if I said 'Boo' right now, you would cry."
And I did. I broke down and wept for fifteen minutes.
When I finally stopped, she asked, "What are you afraid of?"
"I'm afraid I'll fail and hurt the church."
She said, "You can't fail. Do you think the God who created the heavens and the earth is going to let you fail? The God who placed every star and calls each one by name? The God who made every animal, fish and bird and knows each one? The God who knows the number of hairs on your head at this very moment? You won't fail, because you can't fail. The only time you fail is when you quit."
In an instant, the air that had been sucked out of the room came rushing back. She wasn't promising me I'd never stumble. She was telling me a stumble isn't the end of the story. I could not fail, because I would not quit.
Everyone Faces It
We all walk through seasons like the one I was in. New things require new skills, new routines, new mindsets and new processes. They make you flex muscles you've never used. And the more you work a muscle, the stronger it gets.
That was true for me. In those first weeks, my muscles gave out fast and the results were small. But in the weeks, months and years that followed, those muscles grew. Over time, I led in that role with strength, agility and maturity, and the results followed.
Here are five ways to build a "Cannot Fail" mindset.
1. Know Who You Are
Whatever you're attempting, it starts with you. If you dream of playing professional basketball but never pick up a ball, you're living in a fantasy.
Take an honest inventory: your wiring, gifts, abilities, mindset, personality, emotions, convictions, disciplines and desires. That's a long list. It should be. Whatever you're called to do will require all of you, the true you, to show up.
It starts on the inside with your heart and convictions. It aligns with the God-given attributes that come naturally to you. Then the outward evidence lines up with your skills and talents. When all of that comes together, you're ready to attack the goal.
2. Know Whose You Are
There will be opposition. And one of your biggest hurdles is you. You know your own struggles better than anyone, and you're usually your own harshest critic.
People near and far will offer their opinions on how you should get there. Life will throw curveballs you never saw coming. And on top of that, the enemy wants to accuse you, tempt you and lie to you as you pursue your purpose.
That's why you need to know whose you are. If you're a believer in Jesus, you are an adopted child of God with every benefit that comes with it. Above all those other voices is one that's greater, and it keeps saying: "I created you. I formed you. I made you uniquely you. I have a purpose for you. I love you. You are mine."
When the noise gets loudest, let that voice quiet it. Let it give you the confidence to keep growing.
3. Define a Growth Track
Start with the end goal. Then work backward from that goal to where you're standing today.
Along the way, identify key milestones, smaller wins on the journey. When you break the goal down into wins you can see, you can move from one to the next with purpose. For example, in that first Executive Pastor role, I wanted to create efficient communication with the staff. I developed regular communication to the supervisors they could pass along to their teams.
You won't get there in a day. But if you stay on the path, the reps will start moving you in the right direction. And if the path starts pulling you off course, you can adjust the plan and get back on track. It's your track. Own it and work it.
4. Find a Mentor
That consultant walked into my office at the exact moment I needed her. I've been blessed with people like her all through my life, people who pour into me on a regular basis.
Finding those who've gone before you, or who have a skill you need, is essential. I love helping others, but there's no weakness in admitting you need help too. I look for people I connect with around specific disciplines, and I ask for their input to help me become who I need to be. Most are glad to help. They love seeing their experience help someone else grow.
5. Don't Quit
The only way to fail is to quit.
The journey is worth it, because you learn so much about yourself and about what you're working toward. After more than twenty years as an executive, I'm a very different man from the one who broke down in that meeting. I've grown through wins and losses, pain and joy. People have made the journey both spectacular and frustrating. There have been moments of great vision and clarity, and moments of confusion and questions.
I wouldn't change any of it. I'm more equipped today than ever to face tomorrow.
Take your next step today, so you can take the one beyond it tomorrow.
You cannot fail.
