It’s Testing Day
"I want you to do the funeral."
A wave of emotion hit me. One question kept echoing in my head: Why me?
I knew the answer, and I appreciated the request. I had known this special lady since I was sixteen. She watched me grow up and head off to college. She cheered me on when I came home to become a minister. She spoke life into me as a young Christian, a pastor, a husband, and a father. Now she stood in front of me and asked me to lead her husband's funeral.
I looked at her and said, "I don't want to do it. I don't want to stand on stage and speak. I want to sit in the audience and grieve."
She looked me in the eye. "He wanted you to do it. You would represent his heart. We all want you."
With tears welling up, I looked at my mother-in-law and said, "Okay. I'll do it."
Life Hits Home
Life hits home for all of us. As I write this, one family member is battling cancer. Another is working through health issues. Others are navigating hard relationships and tough work situations. Here's what's true for every one of us: we will all die one day, and the road to that day is full of challenges that rock who we are.
In my Bible study blog, I wrote about God testing us. Here's a piece of that post:
"But just as we have been approved by God to be entrusted with the gospel, so we speak, not to please man, but to please God who tests our hearts." — 1 Thessalonians 2:4 ESV
God tests our hearts. Does that bother you? It shouldn't. God isn't testing us to trip us up. He tests us to prove what's real. Paul was still being tested after his ministry was a "success." He never got past it. Neither will we. And honestly, that's a comfort. God cares enough about us to keep refining us.
Death by a Thousand Cuts
Does every test have to be life-altering? Death, a major health crisis, a broken relationship, a financial hit, an unmet expectation? No. Most tests are smaller.
But small tests add up. They're like death by a thousand cuts. The first one isn't too bad. Neither is the second, or the third. But by the tenth, the twentieth, they start to wear on you. Your resilience thins out. Your perseverance runs low. You stop seeing the individual nicks and start seeing the growing loss.
We all go through it. And we all have to decide how we're going to get to the other side. Staying stuck isn't an option. Neither is complaining, whining, or endlessly asking, "Why?"
What a Test Reveals
The point of any test is to reveal what's in us. Knowledge, wisdom, application, the ability to perform—it all comes out under pressure. When we take a test and do well, we feel it. We prepared. We mastered the material. We came out on top. And there's nothing quite like watching your kid crush a test they worked hard for.
All three of my kids took tests differently. Each of them is really smart, but they learned in different ways. One mastered information straight from the book. Another learned best hands-on. The third was a visual learner who grasped things best when they were demonstrated. Now I'm hearing my grandkids' testing stories, and they're finding their own techniques to excel.
So why would we approach life's tests any differently? The key is knowing you.
Know You
Let me go back to that funeral. My struggle wasn't the funeral itself. I've led hundreds of them in my career. The struggle was that I wouldn't get to sit next to my family and grieve a man who meant so much to us. I'd be leading the service, caring for everyone else, and making sure everything on the program happened.
I know me. When it's my family, I don't want to be the minister. Others do it all the time, and I'm glad it works for them. When each of my kids got married, I didn't want to officiate. I wanted to sit next to Kristin, hold her hand, and shed a tear—because we both worked really hard to get them to that day.
Knowing that about myself didn't get me out of the test. It helped me walk into it with my eyes open.
So what do you know about you when you're tested?
Do you know your convictions?
Do you know how to express them in a healthy way?
Do you know how to handle the relationships the test affects?
Do you know how to process the questions, emotions, and feelings so you work through the test instead of trying to bypass it?
Where's your courage level?
Are you ready to work, or do you need to rest?
Every one of those is a valid question. Only you can answer them.
Do You Need God for This?
As a Christian, you might raise an eyebrow at the idea that God tests us. But the reason is simple: Do you need God to face your test?
If you've got it all figured out and have every resource you need, you're good to go—on your own. God wants to know whether we'll invite Him into all of it, the little cuts and the big whoppers, and let Him walk with us. Will we say our own intellect, wisdom, knowledge, and courage are enough? Or will we say, "God, I need You. I'm not enough to handle this"?
You might ask, "Do you really bring God everything? A paper cut? Someone talking behind your back? A bad review at work?"
Yes. Big or small, the answer is yes.
I am not enough. I need God in every part of my day. I start each morning inviting Him into the smallest detail and the biggest curveball I'll face. Then I go wherever my wisdom, knowledge, and discernment take me—because He's in it.
Do I make perfect decisions? No. I still make mistakes and wrestle with my shortcomings. But here's the better question: Is my wisdom higher with God or without Him? I'm living at the highest level I've ever experienced. Every test I'm taking right now, He's helping me answer. And the results—in me and in the people around me—are remarkable.
Your Score
It's testing day. How are you going to take it? Alone? Or are you inviting help?
It's up to you. It's His test—but it's your score.
