I Am a Loser
The Hook
I am a loser.
Before you get rankled and start in on me, let me tell you what I'm losing: anything that keeps me from gaining, growing, or moving forward.
That's the hook.
I'm a fisherman. I love to fish. It's one part of my life I can enjoy alone, with a friend, or with a whole group, and every version of it fuels me. Out on the water I get room to process life as it keeps moving ahead.
Fishermen know what it means to "hide the hook." Under the right conditions, a fish can actually see a hook in the water. So a good lure buries the hook in the bait where it won't catch the light. Then the angler makes that lure as attractive as possible. Movement or stillness. Weighted or floating. Whatever gives it a lifelike pull for the fish. When it all comes together, you hear the best two words on the water: "Fish on!"
We're a lot like those fish. Hooks come at us every day. Something catches our eye, we move in closer, we study it, and we decide, "I want this in my life." So we bite. And another hook sets.
Not every hook is bad. Some pull us toward healthier habits, mindsets, and attitudes. We pivot away from what isn't serving us and toward what is. Other times, something appeals to our senses, appetites, and desires, and we chase it down a path we already suspect isn't good for us. Either way, the key is the same: choose wisely before you bite.
But there's another side of this equation, and it's the one challenging me, and every growing leader I know, right now.
We are really good at adding. We are not very good at subtracting.
We pile on more and more and rarely stop to ask what no longer belongs. Then we wonder why our time, energy, and focus keep draining away. Some hooks need to come out. We need to learn how to lose.
The Reframe
A loser is someone who deliberately lets go of the activities, attitudes, and desires that drain them, so there's room for the ones that build them up. That isn't failure. It's a choice to release what isn't helping you and make space for what will. It rests on one simple idea: subtraction makes room for addition.
Here are three places to start losing.
1. Lose the activity that eats your time
Gain margin for rest, relationships, and renewal.
We all have things we love to do, and we give them precious hours. But are they producing the results you want or need? Hebrews 12:1 (ESV) says, "Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us."
2. Lose the attitude that poisons your outlook
Gain gratitude, peace, and perspective.
Cynicism. Comparison. Resentment. We have to look inside before we'll see the results we want outside. Is your attitude so cluttered that you're stuck in your thinking? Are there mindsets you've let stay too long? Who do you need to forgive, or remove from the conversation in your head? Ephesians 4:22–24 (ESV) calls us "to put off your old self, which belongs to your former manner of life and is corrupt through deceitful desires, and to be renewed in the spirit of your minds, and to put on the new self, created after the likeness of God in true righteousness and holiness."
3. Lose the desire that pulls you off course
Gain contentment and clearer priorities.
Approval. Control. More. Take an honest inventory of your desires. What is still pulling you down a path that leaves you unfulfilled and unproductive? What keeps you spending your energy, resources, and gifts on a marginal return? Paul says it this way in Philippians 3:7–8 (ESV): "But whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. Indeed, I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish, in order that I may gain Christ."
Lose What Holds You Back
Every healthy yes needs an equally healthy no. A wise leader knows what to lose so they can actually gain. It takes courage, strength, and perseverance to make those calls, personally and corporately.
Decide today where this is true for you. When you get clarity on the inside, you can build a path on the outside. Growth isn't only about what you add. It's also about what you're brave enough to lose.
So become a loser today. It may be one of the greatest steps you ever take toward becoming a winning leader.
Challenge Questions
What activity is taking up space that a healthier habit could fill?
What attitude keeps showing up that you'd be better off losing?
What desire is pulling you away from what matters most?
If you lost one thing this week, what healthy thing would you add in its place?
