Character: Turn Right, Not Left

"Be more concerned with your character than your reputation, because your character is what you really are, while your reputation is merely what others think you are."
— John Wooden

In 2003, after a board meeting where I felt God's clear affirmation on my life at GFC, I decided I needed to be ready — physically, mentally, spiritually — for whatever came next. So I signed up for the Disney Marathon.

I trained hard. Five hundred miles over several months. Diet, rest, discipline — I did it right. By mile 13, I was on pace for a sub-four-hour finish. I remember watching runners peel off to the left, toward the half-marathon finish line. It was one of the loneliest feelings I've had — everyone else getting to stop while I still had 13 miles left.

Then at mile 14, my calf cramped. I'd never cramped once in training. Not one time. I stretched, I ran, it got worse. Soon both legs were locked up, and I spent the rest of the race walking through pain I hadn't trained for.

At mile 21, I found my wife and kids on the course. I got to them and fell apart. "I can't do this," I told her. "My calves are cramped. I can't run without walking." She looked at me and said the words I still carry: "Don't quit. Don't quit. Don't quit. You worked too hard to quit. You will never forgive yourself if you quit."

I finished. Ugly, slow, dehydrated — but I finished. 4:35. Not fast. But mine.

Here's what that race taught me about character:

Character comes from core beliefs. You can't build character without knowing what's central to your life. For me, it's my relationship with Christ — His wisdom, His honor, His generosity lived out through me. Ask yourself: what do I want to be known for when people say my name? That answer is the blueprint for your character.

Character is developed, not given. It's like lifting weights — you start small and build up. The little decisions at 8 to 12 years old — will you cheat, lie, cut corners, disrespect someone to look cool — those aren't small. They're the foundation. By 13 to 18, you're solidifying what you believe. Adulthood just tests it.

You will want to quit. My friend Ronn ran five marathons. Before he passed, we talked about mile 13 — that lonely turn where the half-marathoners peel off. He told me, "I never turned left to quit. I always turned right and finished." That's character: choosing the harder road when the easier one is right there, marked and inviting. I haven't always chosen right. But I got back in the race enough times that character became my foundation instead of my exception.

Have the right people in your corner. I couldn't have finished without Big Momma at mile 21. You need people who love you enough to push you when you want to quit, and who'll cheer you when you do it right, even when others don't. You cannot build character alone.

Character leads to hope and love. I'm not the most talented pastor, speaker, husband, or father I know. Plenty of people are ahead of me in every category. But I can be the best version of who God made me to be. That pursuit — that daily marathon — is what gives me hope that God is in control, and it's what frees me to love without judgment or condemnation.

I'll never run another marathon. But I run this one every day.

You've got this. Start today.